Faith in What?

During this morning's meditation (which I like because I get to soak in a hot tub and receive a massage - great relaxation visualization and I have a migraine, but I digress), the question was asked what I needed to be self-confident (the real focus of the meditation). Job security always pops up - I'm very fearful that I will lose the security I now have and the current blessings that go with it. This has also been part of my dilemma when it comes to trusting God. What do I want to trust God for? That current blessings will continue - I will have work, a roof over my head, a family that loves me, etc. etc. and we are certainly not promised that these things will continue. In fact, as the Buddha said in the Four Noble Truths that we suffer and the reason we suffer is that we thirst for things of this world - things that cannot satisfy. This is stunning like like Christ's comment about being the Living Water (John 4:13-14):

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

 That's when I thought of this quote by C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity:

“Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with ever fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. ... Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you wisill find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

In asking to trust for these things and fearing losing them, I am totally missing the point. The one thing I can trust is that eventually, all this shall pass. This morning's reading from the day from C.S. Lewis followed up with:

Don’t imagine I doubt for a moment that what God sends us must be sent in love and will all be for the best if we have grace to use it so. My mind doesn’t waver on this point; my feelings sometimes do. 

I have to wonder what today's sermon will have to say ;)