This morning I did a mediation on letting go of anxiety and one of the things it spoke about was the need to let go of things in your past that provoked anxiety in the present. It occurred to me that this could be a very scary thing to do because things that happened in our past - good and bad - make us who we are now and it seemed like letting go of my unique identity.
I think this is a mistake. The person we were meant to be is not a person bruised and battered by sin and cruelty and failures. Perhaps each of those things - even if we gained strength or blessing from them (or in spite of them) - takes away a bit from the true self we were meant to be.
With that thought in mind, I read today's reading by C.S. Lewis, which ended with this exchange from Voyage of the Dawn Treader:
“But that would be putting the clock back,” gasped the governor. “Have you no idea of progress, of development?”
“I have seen them both in an egg,” said Caspian. “We call it ‘Going Bad’ in Narnia. This trade must stop.”
I think that we have to be willing to open our hands and our hearts and let go of past hurts, or we'll go bad.
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