Notes from the Sermon

Back to the corner church and back to James. 

James 4:1-3 -- Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war within you. You want things, but you do not have them. So you are ready to kill and are jealous of other people, but you still cannot get what you want. So you argue and fight. You do not get what you want, because you do not ask God. Or when you ask, you do not receive because the reason you ask is wrong. You want things so you can use them for your own pleasures. 

We actually cover James 3:18 through James 4:12, but these verses jumped out. 

Would we actually like to have more peace - every day of our life - if we could? No one asks for more chaos. 

The way to get peace on the outside is to have peace on the inside. Jesus gave His disciples one gift before He was crucified. He gave them Peace. 

How do I get Peace? I have to give up my desires to get God's best. 

Like last night's sermon, this is all about who's in control. Often our prayers boil down to, "Please God please me." Peace inside comes when we move from that to, "Your Will be done."

I have to give up my control to get God's Grace. We need to wait on God. Going around God to get what you want is cheating on God. 

When we battle with God over control of our life we lose. I need to give up my climbing to get God's lift. But sometimes it's only when we exhaust ourselves that we are able to let go and let God. 

When we snuggle up to God those around us want to snuggle up too. 

I need to give up my judgment to get God's Peace. Judgment is a very short road that gets traveled at a very high speed and always end in a wreck. When we judge, we set ourselves up to be judged. Judgment is like a boomerang.  It will hit us in the face. 

Notes from the Sermon

This week I'm visiting a new/old church. I went here for a while over a decade ago when it was Bible Fellowship Church. Now it's called Encounter. 

The title of the sermon is When Your Dreams Can't Come True and it's based on 1 Samuel 21 and 2 Samuel 15. 

The end of the year is all about transitions. The speaker had a dream of starting a new church, but it didn't happen. 

When your dreams can't come true, you can take control (an illusion) or surrender to the One who's really in control. 

We obviously need to do the second. 

Remember how God was faithful in the past and take heart - God will be faithful now and in the future. Trust God. 

No one's life is better off when they take control. We hurt ourselves and we hurt others. 

When life feels like it's spinning out of control it's a reminder of who is really in control. 

Just because the lights go out on your dreams, it doesn't mean the lights go out on your faith. 

We may not understand but if we surrender to God all will be well. We may not feel it, but it is so. Don't let your emotions drive your faith. 

David and Jesus prayed the same prayer of surrender to God in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

Surrender is a process. It's not giving up but it is giving up control. 

Notes from the Sermon

The Wise Still Seek Him

Today's sermon is about the Magi (Matthew 2:1-12). 

It's Christmas Sunday - a day to focus on the birth of Christ. 

The Magi traveled for several months (between 500 to 1000 miles). They were highly motivated. 

God travels from Heaven to meet everyone who is far from Him. God will do anything to wake us up and let us know we are Loved by Him. 

God comes to shine His Light for anyone who will pay attention. In this case - it was three Gentiles - astrologers - magicians - occultists. 

He shows us what He knows we will pay attention to. What draws us? What wakes us up? 

Sometimes we ask God to tone it down. But God wants us to seek Him. 

God is often not what we expect. If Jesus comes, will we miss Him? 

We often let others go farther up and farther in with Jesus. 

When we allow ourselves to get close to Jesus, there's no response but to worship. 

When God is revealed, amazing things happen. 

I know what God gave to me. What am I giving to God?

Let God make a difference. Let God give us a new natural - a new life - a new purpose. That is the most amazing Gift of Christmas. 

Notes from the Sermon

My brothers and sisters, if people say they have faith, but do nothing, their faith is worth nothing. Can faith like that save them? A brother or sister in Christ might need clothes or food. If you say to that person, “God be with you! I hope you stay warm and get plenty to eat,” but you do not give what that person needs, your words are worth nothing. In the same way, faith by itself—that does nothing—is dead. Someone might say, “You have faith, but I have deeds.” Show me your faith without doing anything, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe there is one God. Good! But the demons believe that, too, and they tremble with fear (James 2:14-19). 

This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. 

Do not lose sight of the Joy of Christmas in the busy rush of the season. This Joy is born from the knowledge that God loves us, God is with us, and God is for us. 

On to James. Why do we measure things in life? To see how we're doing. We measure our success on a diet with a scale. Works is how we measure how Christ works in us. We look not at what we want, intend, or think; but, what we actually do. What we actually do reveals what we really believe. 

Who do we trust, who do we believe, and how does that affect what we actually do? How do we know if we're a Christian? By our works, by our love. 

"The things we get in life can make us a living. The things we give in life can make us a life. Never look down on someone unless you're helping them up" (OCK TV).

There's no conflict between Ephesians 2:8-9 and this passage from James. The result of being a follower of Christ is our love and our works and our willingness to help others. If Christ is in us, then we cannot help but love. 

Christ changes us so that we are able to love as God Loves. God made us to do good works and Christ in us enables us to do that. We are made for more than simply being saved - we are made to spread that salvation (that Love) to others. 

Paul is speaking about the priority of faith; James is speaking about the proof of faith. 

We are saved by faith alone; however, a faith that saves us will never leave us alone. I can't work for my salvation, however my salvation must work in me. 

Salvation makes us new. It changes who we are and how we live. Jesus gives us a new normal - moves us beyond the foibles of our nature. Does Christ living in me make a difference in how I live today? 

Parable of the Silver Medalist

 Luke 12:13-21New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool

13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

14 Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” 15 Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

21 “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

A couple of years back I came across articles about how bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists among Olympic winners. Because I am an academic, here's a link to one of those articles - Why Bronze Medalists are Happier than Silver Winners - in which you'll learn, in a nutshell, that silver winners are grumpy because they almost won the gold and so focus on their loss whereas bronze medalists are happy because they almost didn't win a medal at all and so focus on their win.

What does this have to do with rich fools and...well...me? In earnings, I am a silver medalist and that has made me a rich fool. After years of starving artistry, lay ministry, and graduate school - time where I was well acquainted with social services and knew my way around Food Stamps - I hit middle class status. Being middle class and a single mother worked to form a perfect storm of anxiety - I had to save - I had to save for retirement (that's what middle class people did), I had to save for my daughter's college (middle class kids went to college), I had to have enough to be able to say - like the rich fool, "You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry."

Then, the other day I was innocently listening to NPR and a speaker mentioned casually that you need to squirrel away at least a million dollars to retire these days. Google "a million dollars to retire" and you'll find out that it wasn't one speaker's dementia kicking in - that's the figure, although some hits on that Google search even ask the million dollar question, "Is a million dollars enough?"

Now, I've been good trying to save for college and for retirement - so good it made me crazy anxious - but that statement took me back to my late teens and my first semester in college. I had to take P.E. classes - part of the whole Gen Ed package - and the first day we were asked to jog around the field. Huffing, puffing, and sure I was going to die, I made it. I was so proud of myself. I could do this - this class would be a breeze! But no. The very next class we were asked to up it to four laps (a cool mile rather than a cool million). There was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I'd be able to do that - I walked one lap, never jogged again in that class, and took my C like a champ. The idea that I'd need a million bucks to happily retire (and I assume they weren't talking retiring to a castle on the coast of France with weekends in the Riviera either) - hit me like the request that I run four laps. It ain't never going to happen.

At that moment, I left my rich foolishness behind. I will follow Jesus' advice and live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself (Matthew 6:25-34), which coincidentally, is also the advice from one of my favorite songs by the Grassroots:

Enjoy!

Notes from the Sermon

Today's sermon is bases on James 2:1-13:

My dear brothers and sisters, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, never think some people are more important than others. Suppose someone comes into your church meeting wearing nice clothes and a gold ring. At the same time a poor person comes in wearing old, dirty clothes. You show special attention to the one wearing nice clothes and say, “Please, sit here in this good seat.” But you say to the poor person, “Stand over there,” or, “Sit on the floor by my feet.” What are you doing? You are making some people more important than others, and with evil thoughts you are deciding that one person is better. Listen, my dear brothers and sisters! God chose the poor in the world to be rich with faith and to receive the kingdom God promised to those who love him. But you show no respect to the poor. The rich are always trying to control your lives. They are the ones who take you to court. And they are the ones who speak against Jesus, who owns you. This royal law is found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” If you obey this law, you are doing right. But if you treat one person as being more important than another, you are sinning. You are guilty of breaking God’s law. A person who follows all of God’s law but fails to obey even one command is guilty of breaking all the commands in that law. The same God who said, “You must not be guilty of adultery,” also said, “You must not murder anyone.” So if you do not take part in adultery but you murder someone, you are guilty of breaking all of God’s law. In everything you say and do, remember that you will be judged by the law that makes people free. So you must show mercy to others, or God will not show mercy to you when he judges you. But the person who shows mercy can stand without fear at the judgment. 

The theme is a simple one - love all people. 

Some translations of this section of scripture say, "Don't show favoritism." The trouble with favoritism is that some people suffer while others benefit.

Favoritism is often based on appearance (i.e. prejudice and stereotypes rule). It sets up a system of inequality. 

In the beginning the Church became the only place where there was no favoritism. James wrote 45 years later - favoritism, all too normal, was creeping back in. Honoring equality is something we have to work hard to do. 

God doesn't show favoritism. He loves us all equally. When we disrespect that love by showing favoritism, we disrespect God and devalue God's Love. 

Live by the highest of standards - live by the standard of Love. The whole core of God's message is Love. All you need is Love. 

A key part of love is respect. A key part of respect is listening. It's caring. 

James says break any aspect of God's Law, we break it all. That means that when we come to being sinners we are all on level ground. We are all sinners and have no ground for thinking we or anyone else is better than anyone else. We run into trouble because we all have a sin severity scale. God doesn't work that way. 

We are all broken and we are all loved. 

We need to focus on what we're giving, not on what we're getting. When we focus on the second, favoritism creeps in. 

Give mercy, receive mercy. Replace judgment and favoritism with mercy and grace. Be a mercy first responder. 

Notes from the Sermon

Good Word Good Life!

Today's sermon is based on James 1:22-27. 

It's the first Sunday of Advent. Why did Jesus come? Jesus said the reason He came was that we might have Life - Life that's full, abundant, overflowing - hearts more joyous than we can imagine, If we keep that at the center, the rest will fall into place (John 10:10b). 

Regarding Ferguson - Jesus said we are here for two things - to love God and to love each other. That love extends beyond family and friends to those different from us - even our enemies - spread love, not discord. 

James tells us how to do live life well. YOLO has been described as a modern day carpe deim, but, it's a little different. It all too often is an excuse to do stupid things. It's true though, with regard to the admonition that we should live the best we can. 

Jesus is the one most concerned with getting the most out of life. 

James says listening is important, however doing is what matters. 

...the truly happy people are those who carefully study God's perfect law that makes people free, and they continue to study it. They do not forget what they heard, but they obey what God's teaching says. Those who do this will be happy. 

I think perhaps I should do a Bible study focusing on the word happy. 

Doing God's will does not mean a life with no problems; but, it does mean a joyous life. The Apostles, after all, sang songs of thanksgiving while in prison. 

If we only listen but don't do, then we are fooling ourselves. 

A lot of people mark their Bibles, but they never let their Bible mark them. 

The parable of the two sons - one who said he wouldn't do it, but then thought better and did it and the second who said yes but did nothing (Matthew 21:28-32). Where do I stand in this?

If we truly follow God's way, it does set us free. For instance, if we use our freedom to gossip, then gossip will bind us. If we don't forgive, then we are bound up by a spirit of hurt and revenge. 

When I live by James' principle, it will change my character and my conduct. When what comes out of my mouth reflects the character of Christ, then I have no regrets. We should live our lives in such a way that there is something obviously different about us. 

Pure religion - religion God accepts - is caring for the downtrodden, the oppressed, and the vulnerable. Rather like the Dalai Lama's statement that his religion is kindness. 

We watched a video with a great quote - "Music is the quickening art."

Amen :)

Notes from the Sermon

My dear brothers and sisters, be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right life God wants. So put out of your life every evil thing and every kind of wrong. Then in gentleness accept God's teaching that is planted in your hearts, which can save you.

                             - James 1:19-21

Great advice for the mother of a teen - especially when my love is tainted with anger born of frustration and fear. 

James, one of favorite books of the Bible, is one of the first books written in the New Testament (about 45 CE). It's great that I'm coming in at the beginning of the book - God's serendipity - Divine coincidence ;)

 When James wrote this letter, the Church was going through an awkward adolescence, trying to figure out how to be a Church. The Council of Jerusalem dealt with the Church's identity crisis. 

The council sought to answer the question, "Is faith in Christ enough?" The answer is so overwhelmingly yes that they strongly spoke against adding anything else. 

That doesn't mean we stay where we are. God changes us - the spirit of God adds to us - changes us. 

The Gospel doesn't cancel the need for obedience. The Spirit of Christ makes us want to obey. 

The integrity of believers reveals the Light to the World. 

A person with integrity:

1. Listens carefully. Hearing involves only the ears - listening involves the mind and heart. 

Avoid selective listening - be an active listener. 

2. Speaks thoughtfully. Think before you speak. Choose helpful words over hurtful words. Never shout angrily. 

3. Stays calm. Don't become angry easily. Regarding righteous anger - I think if we are hurtful, it's not righteous. We need to discover healthy ways to deal with our frustrations. 

Get rid of the rotten stuff (anger and bitterness stink) and make room for the fresh stuff (Christ's life for us). 

Will I react with anger or will I take all that happens as somehow, some why, helping me to grow?

WAIT - Why am I talking? Listen first - talk second. 

One of the damaging things we can do to ourselves is say, "I will never forgive."

Do not get angry and sin. ... Do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26). We have a choice of how we will treat others. Relationships are too valuable to destroy them in anger. We can be reconcilers. 

Love Others

This is the close of the series Be One Make One. 

This sermon juxtapositions the American Dream with "God's Kingdom Dream." What is God's dream for my life - takes me back to my ideas of my "first best destiny" (courtesy Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan). 

Where do I put my energy and passion? Is it pursuing money and the utterly illusory idea of financial security? If so - and it is so - my heart's in the wrong place. 

I got this from the notes - before the sermon started. Regrettably, although I know the church is struggling financially, this continuing focus on their need for money seems at odds with the sermon - which is starting now. 

The sermon is grounded on Romans 12. 

We belong to each other and our passion should be grounded in loving others. 

Romans 12:17-21 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 

Guess praying for my supervisors - even, grrr, the CEOs - is the right thing to do. 

"We honor Christ when we love what He loves!"

The Church is the source of hope for this world because Jesus is the Hope of the World. 

How do we recognize a vital church? The vitality of a church is rooted in how many members are changed people - rescued people - not churchy people. 

Churches are unified and God is the source if that unity. 

Doctrine and theology are the backbone of this unity. 

We should be know more by what we are for rather than what we are against. 

Don't be casual about life - loathe to give, loathe to feel passion. Reminds me of the song in Hair - Easy to be Hard. God's mercy and grace fuels our passion and lifts us out of apathy. 

If you keep your eyes on God's mercy, unbelievable things will happen. If our eyes drop we falter. 

Community groups were not formed here so we could make friends. It's to build disciples. 

Life happens, life is a struggle, and we are here to help and support one another.    We need each other. We need community. 

Reach the World

This is the last of the Be One Make One series. We are asked to pray that Hod may use each of us to show compassion, minister to those in need, and be a witness of the Love of God. Amen!

We make a living through what we get (salary); but, we make a life from what we give. 

Mission is necessary for discipleship. God goes with us. 

The Church is on the same mission as Jesus. 

John 20:21 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 

God takes us out of the world and then sends us right back into the world. 

The question is not if, but how?

God does the heavy lifting, but wants us beside Him. God is going to be out loving on the world whatever happens. It's not like it's not going to get done if we can't do it on our own. God never asks us to do it on our own. God does the heavy lifting, but takes joy in our service. 

Sometime we have to make the decision to do the right thing, even when we're not feeling it. 

You probably know that person you're meant to be loving on - so love on them, even if you don't feel the love. 

Works & Words

Twenty percent of the church's budget goes to missions. Guess that's why it's Ventura Missionary. 

"We don't believe in outsourcing mission - we believe in doing it."

Time to put some skin in the game - exactly what I thought when I became a lay missionary. 

Who are you called to?

Make it personal - God calls us to minister to individuals - this call is not to the abstract masses. 

Dr. Seuss said, "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

I'm sorry, I'm too scattered today to pay attention - these are terrible notes :(

Love God

This is the second part of Be One Make One: Crafting Discipleship at Ventura Missionary. 

Love God, Reach Out, Build Community

That's what it's all about. That's what we're all about. It's not optional. 

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 

We all have blessings - life, skills, passions, resources - not so we can live a stress-free life, but so that we can step up and take part in God's plan. 

Worship Him - Start with love and worship. Worship services are the entry point for many to come into that relationship with God. 

Submit to Him - Give your blessings back to God. Remember what those blessings are for. 

Know Him - Grow in knowledge, deepen your relationship. 

Talk to Him - A key part of marriage counseling is communication - couples need to talk. Likewise we need to have conversations with God. 

Think about Him - All week long. 

As we live out these disciplines, our good influence in the world will grow. 

We need to apply the Gospel in our lives and in the world. 

We must maintain a healthy view of God's mercy - don't look down at our own worries, but up at God's mercy. 

"We love God to the extent that we are blown away by His mercy."

Notes from the Sermon

A new series begins today:

Be One, Make One: Crafting Discipleship at Ventura Missionary

Today's sermon is "The Mission."

I found out that the church's mission statement is:

Live and share the transforming love of Jesus. 

No wonder I like the place ;)  This series will unpack that mission statement. Seems pretty simple and straightforward to me. 

It occurs to me that following Jesus' mandate:

Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 

actually simplifies discipleship for us. We are to share of love of God - pure and simple. As a wise friend of mine said, " I just love them."

All this before the sermon actually begins.  I may be dizzy and loopy, but this sure won't be a wasted trip ;)

One of the best coping methods is to obey God. We were designed for God, designed for joy, and obeying God is how we go with the flow - doing what we were designed to do. 

What does God want us to do? If you love God, follow Jesus. No promises that life will then be full of good fortune (as we would consider it). Thinking about it, to promise that would be like giving a child ice cream for dinner. They'll be overjoyed about their good fortune until the stomachache hits. 

"Clarity of purpose is critical to Kingdom success."

To be a Christian goes beyond belief. It is to be a disciple. Our discipleship is revealed through our love. 

This series will cover three areas over the next three weeks:

Love God

Reach the World

Build Community

These things don't naturally happen - we have to work at it. 

Having the trappings of religion doesn't make us a disciple. 

This church is a member of the Missionary denomination. I thought it was non- denominational. The new president said that the denomination was relational. 

Check out The Voice - a translation of scripture kind of in between the NIV and The Message (Bible Gateway has it). 

We can "do church" and we can do a lot of church without God. Guard against that. 

Jesus doesn't just invite us to spend a bit of time with Him (like an hour on Sunday) - Jesus wants to move in, to come and make His home with us. 

Notes from the Sermon

This week's sermon, the last in the series, is titled Designed for Joy. I think is a message I need to hear. The head of music is now singing a song inspired by a verse in Exodus about how the people were discouraged in their slavery. She wondered how many of us are discouraged in our slavery to the day-to-day cares, concerns, and disappointments of life. 

There seems to be a disconnect between church people and the God they teach about. We teach about a God of joy, but where is the joy?

According to the Westminster Catechism, our reason for being is to enjoy God forever. 

We hunger for happiness - we thirst for joy. But, for many of us, happiness is elusive. No source of happiness here lasts. This reminds me of C. S. Lewis' comments from A Grief Observed that I read this morning. Interestingly, the pastor is quoting him now - were Lewis tells us we are far too easily pleased, seeking satisfaction at Taco Bell, when we are invited by God to a five-star restaurant. 

Joy is found in God and God alone; but we, as the Buddha teaches, look for happiness in all the wrong places, seeking joy in things that don't last. 

On the other hand, Paul sang for joy chained in a deep dungeon. When we realize that same joy, we realize our current situation doesn't matter. In all honesty, I'm far too apt to whine. Yes, I find joy easily, but I also am derailed way too quickly. 

Praying for others instead of being fixated on our own situation brings joy. It's a question of where our attention is focused. Spreading the Love of God to others brings joy - in word and service. 

Stop whining, arguing, and complaining. When you live like this, there is no room for joy. The more we fixate on our problems, the more our problems and complaints become who we are. I need that on a t-shirt. I'm SO busted. 

The things if this world that we want or achieve or prize are straw when compared to Jesus. Thomas Aquinas says straw, the world Paul uses in Philippians is crap. 

There is joy in the faithfulness of God. 

Practice rejoicing - it's like physical therapy - we build up our capacity for joy. 

Think on what is good, beautiful, etc. Find joy in Christ. It's there. 

Notes from the Sermon

This week's segment of Recalculate is titled Designed to Influence. 

Matthew 5:16 - In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 

What would the world be there without mothers? Mothers have an unbelievable influence on this world. They hold unbelievable joys and carry unbelievable burdens. 

Christians are also designed to be an influence on this world. Our light gives light to everyone in the house - Christian and non Christian. 

Add your influence to what you give. You were not saved just so you could go to Heaven. You are called to be an influence. Jesus asks, "What have you done with my grace?"

We are called to go and participate in His redemption of the world. 

You are either an influence or you will be influenced. 

What data influences you and how do you then influence this world? 

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

Everything we experience sets us up to be an influence on this world - positive and negative. 

We are foolish by nature - but God understands this - do not accept the lie that past foolishness means we can't be an influence. Turn to God and allow God to make changes in your life. 

If you seek God's wisdom, then God will open the doors to adventure and influence. 

Romans 8:15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 

We do not go on these adventures alone. We are designed to go with God. Amen and alleluia!

Notes from the Sermon

Today's segment of Recalculate is Designed to Need Others.

We often find ourselves in places we aren't excited about and wonder, "How did I get here?" I wonder if he meant to quote David Byrne in the Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime - which is now running through my cold-addled brain. 

The Bible reading is the Genesis story. Interesting point made about Genesis 2:18:

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 

It's important to note that Adam had a relationship with God, but even so, he needed a helper. We are made to need each other. 

Americans are the loneliest people in the world. We have forgotten this need we have for each other. American individualism focuses on doing it by ourselves. That's not what Christianity is all about. Even if you can do it yourself, it's better to do it with others. 

We need to be here for each other. This is the type of community we need to build and maintain. We need to go after the lost sheep - sheep are in the most danger from predators when they are alone and apart from the herd. 

This is not being "sheeple" - it's being part of a community - it's being there for each other. 

Notes on the Sermon

Today, we start a new series:

Recalculate - A Series on the Data You Use to Chart Your Life

 More specifically, today's sermon is, Designed to Need Him.

We might think our lives are going pretty good; but, we all can stand some tweaking. Our path to God isn't just dependent on big "recalculations" (like conversion) but also on the small shifts in direction we all need to make. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from youwhen I was made in the secret place,when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in yourbook before  one of them came to be. 

Psalm 139:13-16

We are designed for God - that is God's plan - in my life, it is God's plan, not mine. My daily morning prayer should be to seek God's plan. God's answer is to walk with Him and let Him lead. 

In Exodus 33, God tells Moses that His presence will give us rest. My morning meditation also stresses the need for rest. 

God will never give us an assignment where He's not leading. His presence goes with us and gives us rest. 

We are designed to need God in every area of our lives. If things are going badly, it's because we aren't allowing God to lead us. I am not meant to succeed at work, at parenting, at life without God - I am designed to need God. This is why I feel so hollow, so fragile, so stressed. 

God wants and initiates that intimacy with us. The whole of Hebrew scripture is God pursuing us to enter into an intimate, face-to-face relationship with us. 

Forgiveness opens up the gift of His continued presence. He gave up everything to be close to us. God wants that intimacy. Jesus died for it. 

God desires to be present in our lives more than we can ever imagine! 

God's presence is no longer in a fiery pillar - it is now in us - and through us, God interacts with the World. 

God also recalculates to get us back on track when we take the wrong turn. We recalculate by making time to be with God and realize God's presence in our lives. 

...surely I am with you always, to the very end if the age. 

Matthew 28:20

Notes from the Sermon

This is the last sermon in the Brand New series. Next week we're starting a new series - Recalculate: A Series on the Data You Use to Chart Your Life.

This sermon is on regrets. We all have regrets - big and small - and many of us wish we could just go back and talk some sense into our younger self. 

I have no regrets...I just don't care. Not the most productive approach to regret. Running away from regret can lead to more regrets. Neither can we wash the regrets of the past away by doing better in the present. 

Easter gives us all we need to deal with regrets. 

1 Peter 1:3 (NASB) - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

Peter knew all about regret. Our regret is fueled by the shock we feel when we do and are something that we never thought  in a million years that we'd do. Some are minor - some are major. We know our regrets and our brokenness. 

We do not have to resign ourselves to a life of regret. Peter's story exemplifies this. 

Living hope replaces bitter regret. 

If the story ends with Jesus' death, it is a hopeless death and a hopeless story and our regrets hang on that cross with a dead man. 

But Jesus is Alive and we have a Living Hope. 

Jesus does not - in any way - regret what He did for you. 

Instead of being crippled with regrets, we are free to live with hope. 

Many people believe Christianity is a call to be nicer, less cool, more serious, etc. But Christianity is a call to a Living Hope - it's a call to a brand new life. 

There is hope for each and every one of us, anchored in joy, celebrating the newness that comes of the Risen Christ. Jesus is Alive and He makes all things New. 

Hallelujah!

Notes from the Sermon

What does God do at Easter that makes us new?

Who do you know who jumps on bandwagons? The term "jump on the bandwagon" has an interesting history. I love the origins of sayings :)

It is the idea of a "free ride" or being on the winning team. 

Matthew 21:1-10 - In this scene the people of Jerusalem jumped on the bandwagon. But, like the seeds planted in shallow soil, the people on the bandwagon jumped off again when it seemed Jesus was no longer on the "winning side."

The Donkey?

Isaiah 62:11 and Zechariah 9:9-10

A king is coming to rescue us. Jesus rode on the donkey to make sure we know that He is the King. Don't try to put Him in another category - He doesn't fit there. 

Moralism vs. Lordship

There is only one King if your life and you are not it. 

The palm branches and cloaks?

Triumphal celebrations of victorious military leaders were the norm. When you think about it - in those days they were celebrating a military that saved and delivered them from invaders - their deliverance was apparent, up close, and personal. 

Jesus wasn't a military leader - His salvation, His deliverance, His liberation is of a different order. 

License vs. Liberation

Sometimes we cheapen God's grace. To stop at forgiveness is not to tell the whole story. To stop there gives us license to do whatever we want. It cheapens everything - grace, Who Jesus is and what He did. "Jesus is not a license to live how we want and start over with forgiveness when we need it." Jesus is about liberation and a brand new life. 

The word "Hosanna"?

Psalm 118:25 - Hosanna means "Lord save us!"

Real Needs vs. Felt Needs

What we think we need is quite often (most often) not what we need at all. Those are our felt needs - not our real needs. What we need is to walk with Jesus. What we really need us for Jesus to be Lord of your life. 

If we use Jesus as a license rather than except Him as liberator, we will deny Him.  We need to ask and seek and know Who Jesus is, what He did, what He's doing, and what difference that means for you. 

On Trust

I fear that following God will immediately turn me into a modern day Job and holy hazing will make my life a living hell. Then it occurred to me that Job isn't the only story in the Bible - there are tons of people with heaps of conventional blessings coming their way - health, wealth, progeny, happiness, joy, etc. etc. Who's to say where on the continuum my blessings will fall?

The point is that, wherever they fall, it will be good and I will be blessed.

Notes from the Sermon

The title of the series beginning today is Brand New. 

The pastor - like the former pastor of Our Lady of the Assumption - was a police officer. 

Brand new babies are wonderful. When God says He is making things brand new, the world will be something wonderful. 

Luke 18:31-34 Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, “We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be delivered over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him and spit on him; they will flog him and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.” The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about. 

The days surrounding Easter are a roller coaster of emotion. This verse contains the low and high point of the Passion. 

Jesus asks:

What do you want me to do for you? (Luke 18:41)

How I answer that question is of vital importance. 

The Kingdom of God is God's rescue of each and every one of us. It is a brand new thing. 

The pastor - years ago - was witnessing with teens in the tenderloin district of San Francisco and an old homeless man told the kids not to stop and pointed his finger at the pastor and says, "And you, you never stop preaching." And here he is. 

God reveals truth to us from unlikely people in unlikely places. 

At times, we are broken. At times, we are blind. 

What should I ask Jesus to do for me? Make me brand new. It's fitting that communion follows and the transformation it brings - making me one with Christ and the People of God :)

The Valley of the Shadow of Death

This morning I emailed the following to my friend about some bad news I had heard this week:

I really and truly don't want to know. It's like the mega-volcano in Yellowstone everyone is posting about - I can't do anything about it, so I'd rather be in the dark.

Of course, I suspect strongly that peace doesn't mean being in the dark or blind to the problems around you, but rather in trusting that God will take care of you.

Moving from there to Facebook, Spiritual Networks posted:

and

I know I am thickheaded and often miss the obvious; but, sometimes I feel like I'm being hit over the head with a holy 2X4 of truth. I think fear is - without a doubt - a huge fault in my makeup because it leads to so many other things - a lack of generosity, a meanness of spirit, a timidity when it comes to doing what is right. My prayer for Lent and beyond is to let go of fear. Please pray for me.

Mixed Emoticons

My best friend's youngest daughter moved out of my best friend's house today with her young son and her husband. Happy is my friend is for her daughter and her daughter's family she still said that she had mixed emotions about the situation. 

She ended with:

:-)  ;-(  :-)

Mixed emoticons...

I have my own mixed emoticons. Dana said today she didn't like cats or dogs anymore. She said she doesn't want pets and her house when she grows up there too much of a mess. I told her we wouldn't be living together then. It's not really that I'm choosing pussycats over my daughter but rather that I know that my peace would be shattered without my animal companions and I wouldn't be a very nice person to live with. I wouldn't be me at all. Anyhow I got an image of myself living alone in a nice little apartment with two kitties and the dog. Nice as that is there is still mixed emoticons. 

Such is life 

:-)  ;-(  :-)

Notes from the Sermon

This is the last Sunday if this series. 

Matthew 6:8-9 - The Lord's Prayer

Familiarity breeds contempt - or rather here it produces numbness. 

But it's an important prayer. 

Prayer reveals what we yearn for - what we hold as hallowed. 

Unless what we strive for is what we are created for, we strive in vain and will end in darkness and failure. 

First petition - sets God apart as Holy and asks that we align ourselves with God's will as God's children. 

We give nothing to God that isn't already God's. Comforting thought - it confirms nothing can separate us from the Love of God (Romans 8:38-39) because we are already God's. 

We live in a culture of choice and giving up the right to choose goes against everything our culture teaches. It's far more in line with Islam - the very name of the religion means submission. 

The crux of giving up the right to choose is knowing the Goodness of the One to Whom we surrender our will. 

"There are ultimately no loose ends in God's will." We can trust God to have the big things and the little things. 

Prayer is not about bending God's will to ours; but surrendering our will to God's. 

This is the essence of the first part of the Lord's Prayer - it's the essence of participative grace. 

Heaven

Today's reading from C.S. Lewis and the above image highlighting a Billy Graham quote (which was on my Facebook homepage this morning) mesh together well. In The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III, Jack has this to say about Heaven:

The symbols under which Heaven is presented to us are (a) a dinner party, (b) a wedding, (c) a city, and (d) a concert. It would be grotesque to suppose that the guests or citizens or members of the choir didn’t know one another. And how can love of one another be commanded in this life if it is to be cut short at death?

Think of yourself just as a seed patiently waiting in the earth: waiting to come up a flower in the Gardener’s good time, up into the real world, the real waking. I suppose that our whole present life, looked back on from there, will seem only a drowsy half- waking. We are here in the land of dreams. But cock-crow is coming.

It's hard for me to imagine Heaven - it's hard for most of us I suspect - after all, I remember the wonderfully interesting and intricate illustrations in Dante's Divine Comedy were only interesting and intricate during his tours of Hell and Purgatory, Heaven was regrettably devoid of both. The movie Star Trek: Generations view of Heaven (called the Nexus) was of a place devoid of adventure because everything was perfect and there was no risk. I think that this is a wall that many of us hit. I can't imagine a place without risk, without tears, without pain, without death - well, I can imagine it but I don't understand how it would work. I've heard more than one person, faced with their conception of immortality and Heaven, state that it would be boring and hellish when viewed as something that lasted forever. I think the problem is a lack of imagination - not a lack of fun or adventure on the part of Heaven.

Notes from a Friend

This morning, during my meditation and prayer, I struggled over the idea of letting God have control and what exactly that means. I rather stumbled over that prayer and finally lapsed into silence (which might have been the point all along). Then, I woke up to this Facebook post by my best friend:

In the continuing cycle of Deronda re-discovering Obvious Truths, lol--whenever I "stress out" about all the stuff that "needs to be done," I'm working in my own puny strength, and am doomed to fail, simply because my personal capacity/ability is so limited. Infinitely better is to leave all results in God's hands, and in the meantime, just do my best! I know that's the way to go, because that's how God got me through college. If it worked then, it'll work now. (I used to say to God, "Lord, I'm doing my best--you'll have to make up the difference!")

Amen!

In another post, recapping "Our Daily Bread" - she shared this quote: 

 Our tendency to wander is matched by God’s willingness to pursue.

 That truth is one this wandering fool takes great comfort in - the idea not that God is always there if you return, but that God has actually left the church and is in pursuit of you, whatever dark marshes and high mountains you may wander through.

Playing God

This past weekend I was listening to podcasts on C. S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia and J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and one phrase stuck with me - "God is more than you want Him to be." I think life, the universe, and everything is also more - much more - than we want it to be.

We want a cosmos we can understand, fit into a box, and above all, control. That's where I think the problem lies - the issue that popped up when Eve ate the apple - as it says in Genesis 3:4-6:

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

To be like God - that burning desire, according to Christian tradition, was the sin of Lucifer, who became Satan and talked Eve into embracing the same desire in the Garden of Eden.

Yet, Hebrew and Christian tradition also states that we are made in the image of God. So what gives? When are we co-creators with God and when are we playing God? Christians have struggled over that ethical question for centuries - coming up with different answers.

I think that maybe the heart of the issue lies in control - as in who is in control. If we seek to be in control, then we fall into the trap of playing God rather than playing with God. If we allow God to be in control, rejoicing in the diversity and moreness of life, the universe, and everything, then we fulfill what it means to be made in the image of God.

Notes from the Sermon

The focus today is how to pray for others. The scripture is Ephesians 1:15-23:

For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,  and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. 

Prayer is simply talking to God and praying should be simply part of who we are. 

Prayer is more than simply transmitting information. Prayer equals a closer relationship with God. Prayer is the primary place where our intimacy with God is built. 

Prayer flows out of worship. Song becomes prayer. Our life becomes a prayer. 

The word "know":

1. To be aware of something. 

2. To experience something. 

3. To have the most intimate, thorough understanding possible. 

Our purpose as beings is to know God in the most intimate way possible. Pray for physical needs but pray also that we might know God. Be constant in this prayer. 

May we know and see and hear God more clearly. This reminds me of the song Day by Day in Godspell. 

Our inheritance is God. When we know God on Earth we get a taste of the glory that's coming. Perhaps those who believe are like children who choose to help prepare a family feast. They get a taste of the feast to come - they know what's on the menu - but those who don't enter the kitchen still have a place at the table. 

The best way to learn to pray is through the scriptures. 

When we prayer for others our hearts are changed. 

Bad Eggs

This morning I did a mediation on letting go of anxiety and one of the things it spoke about was the need to let go of things in your past that provoked anxiety in the present. It occurred to me that this could be a very scary thing to do because things that happened in our past - good and bad - make us who we are now and it seemed like letting go of my unique identity.

I think this is a mistake. The person we were meant to be is not a person bruised and battered by sin and cruelty and failures. Perhaps each of those things - even if we gained strength or blessing from them (or in spite of them) - takes away a bit from the true self we were meant to be.

With that thought in mind, I read today's reading by C.S. Lewis, which ended with this exchange from Voyage of the Dawn Treader:

   “But that would be putting the clock back,” gasped the governor. “Have you no idea of progress, of development?”
   “I have seen them both in an egg,” said Caspian. “We call it ‘Going Bad’ in Narnia. This trade must stop.”

I think that we have to be willing to open our hands and our hearts and let go of past hurts, or we'll go bad.

Decisions

I will continue this blog after Lent for my Sunday notes; however, I am going to delete or not publish non-productive notes (like this one).

Humility

This week my daily readings from C.S. Lewis have had the theme of humility. Today I read:

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

That  last line is the key I think. Humility is not low self-esteem or self-contempt - it is self-forgetfulness. After all, there is so much going on out there that is far more interesting and fun than mulling over myself and my problems.

Little Gifts

Today was a better day - although it had the same feel as a stormy day where the sun breaks through in odd moments. Walking Kodi, I saw a bright white seagull sitting on top of a spotless white pickup. I don't know why he made me smile, but he did - seagulls don't get a lot of respect, but this one was shining in the sun and the white gulls seem to take care to be spotless (even when they are stealing your lunch). Of course, he flew away before I could get a photo.

My next tiny gift was an elderly couple walking home from the neighborhood grocery store. The old man kept his hand on his lady's elbow, helping her when they came to a curb. She had a big straw hat on and both were dressed very nicely for a walk to the grocery store.

I get so caught up in my own inner turmoil sometimes that I miss the world around me and all the little gifts that God gives, like tiny jokes shared with a shy smile.

Notes from the Sermon

"In the first 2 chapters of this book, Habakkuk questions why God was allowing the wicked to prosper and the poor to be oppressed. Can you relate?"

Can I ever! One of the difficulties of a career is that so often work is like walking through a swamp in white clothes while trying not to get dirty. 

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form where broken pots are mended by filling in cracks with an amalgam mixed with powdered gold. This is what God does for us. 

Listening to the news puts the weight of the world on our shoulders. It brings us to the same questions Habakkuk asked. 

Theodicy - a justification of how God works with humanity. 

Habakkuk is unique - the whole book is a prayer. Other prophets bring God's word to the people. Habakkuk brings the people's questions to God. 

Three Keys to Prayer:

Be Human - It is okay to be ourselves in prayer. Perhaps the parable Jesus told about the prayers of the Pharisee and the tax collector touches on this - the Pharisee was playing a role, the tax collector was being honest - being human. 

Crying out because it's not fair is part of the human condition; but, we don't want to stay there. 

How do we respond when God's answers to our prayers don't meet our expectations? We have to allow God to be God. 

Be Humble - Prayer should be humble. Listen to God. Let God be God. Ask for help with understanding. Prayer like this changes our hearts. 

It's okay to not be okay with certain situations - but we don't want to stay there. Humble prayer changes us. Sometimes it's not the outside world that is changed, but, our perspective. 

Prayer is not just about changing reality - it's changing how we see reality. 

Be Honoring - May our prayers become songs and our songs become prayer. 

Sometimes we are overwhelmed by our situations - we should not be awed by the enormity of our situation - we should be awed by the enormity of our God. 

Give our minds as well as our hearts to God. 

If we stay in a place of not understanding God, then we will probably continue to not understand. 

When we meditate on God stories, we'll see God stories. A nudge to write "God stories" perhaps?

The last word:

Friendliness

A line from today's reading from C.S. Lewis caught my eye:

You could see that they were ready to be friends with anyone who was friendly, and didn’t give a fig for anyone who wasn’t. Shasta thought he had never seen anything so lovely in his life.

Here I sit, worrying over some frank emails I sent my supervisor (which as yet have received no response) over new "teaching" responsibilities (who knows, he's likely getting flack from too many instructors to respond to them all in a timely fashion) and my mood seems a thousand miles away from the one I began with upon reading those lines.

Those lines sum up a great freedom - these Narnians Shasta saw were not people who didn't care what other people thought because they because they didn't care about other people. They were friendly and open to friendship - they cared about others. But, they cared in a good way - a way without ego and fear and pride - in a friendly way. Sometimes it's very hard for me to see all the things that trap me as surely as the silken threads of a spider web - fear, pride, desire, etc. Friendliness need not come out of a need to be friended - people pleaser that I am, that's hard to grasp. Friendliness can come out of freedom - being friendly with others because they are loved as I am loved.

 

A Piece of the Puzzle

I love doing puzzles on the computer - I especially love colorful puzzles of beautiful images. 

I took this photo of my daughter as we enjoyed the first sunset of Daylight Savings Time. She looks so small in the midst of all that grandeur and yet she and I - small as we are - are an important piece of the cosmic puzzle and without us, the whole would be diminished. 

I'm Hot and I'm Cold

That line from a Katy Perry song certainly fits the hot flashes plaguing me now. It also fits my spiritual life. The problem, I think, is that I mistake feeling with faith. Does everyone have moments when Harvey (the six-foot tall invisible rabbit) inserts his huge, furry rabbit foot into their prayer life? He brings with him the sudden certainty that all this is really rather silly. The fact that this has been a major problem for me for most of my life leaves me wondering if I should just give up. Of course, I've tried to give up, time and time again, to no avail, is also aggravating. I don't know what to do or how to resolve this issue. I just know I don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck here. 

The Monday Bus

How many times have I said that I felt like I'd been run over by a bus (or a truck, or anything large and fast and brutal)? It used to be a common saying, although I don't hear it much any more, or say it, I still think it from time to time. Today, I woke up all too early (I despise time changes), but I woke up to a C.S. Lewis reading of the day about how Aslan joyously played with Susan and Lucy after coming back to life. I thought about the joy and laughter of creation, of life, of love and thought, "Oh yeah, I have my topic for today's blog." Then I was hit by the Monday bus. Monday mornings are - by their nature - full of grades, emails, things that much be done five minutes ago, and a daughter who texts and nags and calls and wants and interrupts - until I was in tears at my desk, feeling as if my heart or brain were simply going to explode. So much for Joy - or even mild contentment. I wanted to throw up. That extra hour I opted to spend in bed (getting up at 7 versus 6) came back to haunt me - Daylight Savings Time means I get up at the "same" time and run an hour late throughout the day.

I did get my work done, and got a reprieve on today's errands (Dana is staying after to dance her midterm and I have time on my hands). So, I sat down and wondered what I was so excited about writing about as I was dozing in prayer. Oh, yes, Joy.

I wonder what would happen if I truly acted on what I know - that this minutia really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of thing - that this clutter is simply dulling the shine on the Joy I should be feeling. I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to find out? Perhaps the elderly in psychological studies generally appear far happier than the middle aged because they finally got fed up and found the courage to act on that knowledge and found out what happens. Perhaps Joy happens.

Notes from the Sermon

Today starts a new series on prayer. Looking over the discussion questions, I'm amazed by how they gel with my blog posts this week. 

On listening - "How much time do you spend talking to, rather than listening to God?"

This quote, attributed to Jim Cymbala, meshed with the topic I prayed about, but didn't write about, yesterday - "The devil is not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we begin to lift up our hearts to God."  The question asked - "Do you think the devil is frightened of you and your constant communication with God, or does he know you mostly operate on your own efforts?"

The sermon series on prayer is titled Transmissions.

Oswald Chambers wrote that many of us stop praying because "we only have an emotional interest in prayer." This stings, because I tend to equate faith with emotion. No emotion equals no faith. 

1 Kings 18:21 - Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.” This question is for me and how I've dithered to and fro. I think the answer came in a dream I remember because someone called my Google number (which I no longer use and don't give out) and left an empty message. The alert woke me up. In the dream I had asked God a question about three teens I was reading about. One was me, one was a smart aleck atheist and one was a bigoted and self righteous Christian. God said, "No matter how twisted the path you take, you are on the road to me. For two of these sheep belong to me and they will come to me at the end." The odd thing was that the atheist and I were the lost sheep. I was asking about the Christian boy when the alert woke me up. The dream wasn't to give me the answers about others, but rather to reassure me. 

God's best days are not in the past. Don't dwell on the past - God is the God of Here and Now. 

God uses us to answer prayer and sometimes we are the answer to our own prayer. 

God loves all people and wants all people to come. Is this the answer to the question I didn't get to ask? 

Who have we been praying for all these years? Prayer does make a difference. But we can't rely on our own power. Here and now, start with God and rely on God's power. 

Opposition

In God in the Dock, C.S. Lewis wrote:

It is extraordinary how inconvenient to your family it becomes for you to get up early to go to Church. It doesn’t matter so much if you get up early for anything else, but if you get up early to go to Church it’s very selfish of you and you upset the house.

I'm facing this now. To back up a bit, my daughter and I frequently argue over my doing ANYTHING that does not involve taking her where she wants to go and doing what she wants to do, so her opposition to my going to church is - in one way - simply more of the same. She also deeply resents time I spend walking and working and sleeping and reading and well, you get the message. Yet, call me stupid (I do frequently), I was surprised by her outburst today that it was unfair that she would have to ask Nan to take her to the ranch when I was perfectly capable of driving her - not later, after church, but earlier, when she wanted to go.

If it were not for my Lenten promise, I'd probably fold now, resentful and muttering under my breath like Yosemite Sam about how I NEVER get to do what I want - all the time knowing that it's my own fault for not standing my ground. But I DID make a Lenten promise. I told her I was able and happy to take her to the ranch when it was convenient for me and that she could certainly get the house clean and do everything else she wanted to do on Sunday. In fact, cleaning house while I was at church would work very well for all all concerned because I knew better than to ask her to go to church. She expressed satisfaction that I knew better because church was a big waste of time. As is, by the way, writing blogs ;)

It occurs to me that while I wrote about resentment being a bad thing earlier this week, perhaps it might also, like guilt, alert me to when I am not living my life as I should. Maybe even negative emotions have a positive use.

Yosemite Sam

Chelsea was a personality. She was a crotchety cat who could cuss like Yosemite Sam. Underneath all her grumpiness and bluster, she was, well, a pussy cat. But she never gave without grumbling about it. We loved her, despite her grumpiness, and perhaps a bit because of it.

God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7) and yet I have to ask myself how often I give cheerfully. I must confess that I am far more like Chelsea when I give to my daughter - crotchety, grumpy, and prone to snap. Seldom do I give freely and cheerfully. There is an undercurrent of resentment that I feel far too often when I give. I think part of the reason is that I do not give freely and cheerfully to myself. This ties back to yesterday's blog post about being "unselfish" versus loving or being cheerfully generous. When I focus on my unselfishness - putting family first - I make myself a martyr and martyrs, I think, are prone to resent their martyrdom if they are not giving of themselves cheerfully.

What does all this mean? Yosemite Sam is not a good role model ;)

Accent on the Positive

One of the ideas put forward in a lot of New Age/self-improvement thinking is the idea that we should focus on the positive - rather than saying, for example, "I am not fearful" we should say, "I am courageous." Your subconscious, so the thinking goes, doesn't pay attention to the word "not" and pays all too much attention to the word "fearful." This idea came up in today's daily reading of C.S. Lewis (courtesy of Bible Gateway), where he writes:

If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love.

This quote is from The Weight of Glory and I think it adds an additional level to the idea of positive thinking. The additional level points out where our focus lies. If I focus on myself - on my action, lack of action, virtue, sin, suffering, happiness, etc. - I will miss the point. If I give with the intention that I should be thought well of because of my generosity, then I am giving in a mean-spirited fashion. This week we are discussing altruism in my social psychology classes and I think this idea of focusing on being generous rather than being unselfish, or loving others rather than denying ourselves, will add to those conversations as well.